Reflection

Part 1: Thinking and Writing

The two pieces I chose for the blog were my Scarlet Letter essay and my memoir. For the Scarlet Letter essay, we got to choose any topic that related to the book to write an essay about. I wrote about how Pearl works as a guilty device on Arthur Dimmesdale's conscience. Pearl is Dimmesdale daughter that longs for her father to acknowledge her before the public eye. Everytime he sees her, Dimmesdale is reminded of the sin he committed. First, I found a quote by James Clarke that said if a man is brave he will reveal his inner thoughts. This relates to Dimmesdale because he is too afraid of what society will think of him to admit his sin. Then I searched through The Scarlet Letter and found three specific ways Pearl worked on Dimmesdale's conscience. When Pearl was a child, she reached up her arms to Dimmesdale, but he would not hold her. This example relates to the religious aspect because he is a preacher and it reminds him of God accepting him even though he sins. Another way Pearl works on his conscience is when she discovers that Dimmesdale has a public and private side. The public side denys her, while the private side accepts her. My last example was when Pearl washes Dimmesdale's kiss off at the brookside. Dimmesdale is now at the point where he must choose to keep living a secret life or tell the truth. Through writing this piece, I discovered more in-depth the character of Pearl. My feelings about her have changed because I now feel sorry for her. Her father never publically accepted her until right before death. I also learned how to write better thesis statements and where to insert transitions. My second piece was my memoir about a mission trip experience. In this essay, I descibed the worksite, the workload, meals, showers, and the rooms we stayed in. I learned that it is important to write about experiences because they become fonder memories. I learned how to use active voice, which is making the subject of the sentence do the action of the sentence. In using active voice you must try to eliminate being verbs. This was tough because I use being verbs a lot.

Things I have learned from writing in this class:

• Different brushstrokes to make writing more descriptive


• How to eliminate being verbs


• Writing is your perspective- there is not a right or wrong answer


• Brainstorm in my head instead of writing everything on paper
  

Part 2: Process of Revision

I revised my pieces in various places that I thought needed improvement. I also fixed places Mrs. Turner had left comments on. In my first piece, The Scarlet Letter essay, I fixed pronoun agreement, added transitions, and tried to stay in the same tense.

Examples of revisions:
Before-
The public Dimmesdale is ashamed of Pearl, while the private Dimmesdale holds her hand and accepts her. Not only does Dimmesdale realize this, but Pearl has caught onto it as well.

Pearl is persistent and continues asking Dimmesdale to accept her in the eyes of society.

After- The public Dimmesdale is ashamed of Pearl, while the private Dimmesdale holds her hand and accepts her. Not only does Dimmesdale realize this, but Pearl has caught onto it as well.

Now that Pearl has identified her father, she longs for society to know the truth. Pearl is persistent and continues asking Dimmesdale to accept her in the eyes of society.

In the above example I added a transition sentence which helped the essay flow better.

Before- The words Hester spoke struck his heart hard because he knew that he should stand on the scaffold beside her and openly admit his sin.

After- The words Hester speaks strike his heart hard because he knows that he should stand on the scaffold beside her and openly admit his sin.

This is just one of the many examples where I fixed staying in the same tense.

In my second piece, my memoir, my main revision was eliminating being verbs. I had over thirty in my rough draft, but now have only four. This took my piece to a whole new level because it seems to flow better. The essay is now more desciptive and I do not read "was" and "are" every other sentence.

Example of revision:

Before- The food was cafeteria style. It was not disgusting, but definitly could have tasted better.

After- Cafeteria style, the food fell short of disgusting, but certainly could have tasted better.

Before- The World Changers program is part of the North American Mission Board.

After- The World Changers program falls under the North American Mission Board.

Before- The saw was loud and the buzzing noise hurt my ears.

After- Hurting my ears, the saw made a loud buzzing noise.

Part 3: Learning from your classmates

After finishing my own blog, I read through several of classmates' blogs. They all did an amazing job! Through reading their blogs, I learned a couple of key things to remember. In Natalie's blog(http://natalierocksyoursocksoff.blogspot.com/), I read her Scarlet Letter piece. She picked some lessons to describe that she learned through reading the book. My favorite lesson was to not be judgemental. I think that is something everyone struggles with, but we must learn to look on the inside not the outside of people. Natalie had a great introduction and conclusion as well. When writing, this is important to remember because you have to grab the reader's attention at the beginning. If the introduction is boring, then the reader is less likely to read your piece. The conclusion is important because it wraps up the essay and ties all the points together. A good conclusion should leave the reader with lasting thoughts. I also read Kasey's memoir(http://kcremi.blogspot.com/). She wrote about when she got her dog from the animal shelter. It reminded me of when my family took in Sam. Kasey used great desciption through the whole piece. I really could visualize what was happening. This is extremely important to remember because you want the reader to have a picture in their head of what they are reading. Often times, I have good desciption at the beginning, but towards the end slack off. The last piece I read was Jennifer's memoir (http://jennheartsyou.blogspot.com/. She descibed a trip she took to Panama City, Florida. I loved her piece because she used dialogue. I think this is important to remember because it adds even more detail to your paper. The reader can feel emotion and overall the piece will have better voice. I hope I will apply the lessons I learned in my next piece.